Bacardi & Hairy Legs.

By the time you read this I will be driving to the airport. Once again FrenchBoy and I are off for one glorious week at the Amirandes resort on Crete. It was so good last year that we had to go back and do it again.

The only thing we don't like about the place is the price of the coffee. Five euros is a steep price to pay for a lukewarm cappuccino. So, we opted for the most logical remedy. Last week in Paris we bought a travel case for our Nespresso machine so we could take it with us to Crete. Yes. We are taking our expresso machine on vacation.

I haven't packed anything yet, but I figure all I need is my swimsuit, my sunglasses, and a pair of busted flip-flops so everyone will immediately understand that I'm American. I'll pick up a couple of bottles of booze at the duty-free shop at the airport before I board, and that will be that.

Oh speaking of busted. I managed to remedy my Frodo-feet issues with this device, which would just be so incredibly wrong, if it didn't work so damn well. I will finally be wearing my Choos without drawing a crowd of horrified gawkers.

And since our suite has a small private pool, I don't even have to shave my legs. People this is the life!

Epilation be gone! Bring on the Bacardi!

Feast of the Assumption.

Saturday is the one day each week FrenchBoy and I can go out and do stuff together, so Imagine our chagrin when we found out Saturday around 11am that it was a holiday and almost every damn thing in town would be closed all day. You would think at least FrenchBoy would have known something was up, but since he works in Luxembourg his mental schedule revolves around Luxembourgish holidays. (Yeah there’s only 10 actual Luxembourgish people but they do have their own holidays.)

As for me I’ve lived in France for almost 6 years now and I still don’t have all the Holidays memorized. Part of the problem of course is that I’m not catholic. I mean how the hell am I supposed to remember what day Mary flied up to heaven on? Geez. And frankly I’m such a shut in that we could be 3 or 4 days into Armegeddon before I realized what was what. “Oh so that’s what all the weeping and gnashing of teeth is all about!”

Alas,everything's closed. What to do, what to do? Fancy Lunch course! Eventhough we didn’t have a reservation, we popped into a local restaurant I’d read about on-line and were lucky enough to get a table on the terrace. It was by far the best meal we’ve had since visiting Brugge.

A few photos from the Menu Plaisir for your drooling pleasure:

Petite assiette de la patience. ("Little plate for patience". Something to munch on while you choose your meal and your aperitif cocktail arrives. Spicy Beef Carpaccio served on a slice of Cucumber.)

Médaillon d'agneau et côte, tarte à la tomate, jus d'ail doux et wasaby.
(Medallion of lamb and rib, tomato tart, some veggies, a bit of potatoe puree, aka mashed potatoes, and this amazing wasabi and garlic gravy in that tiny shot glass.)

Médaillon de lotte aux aubergines, fumet tranché à l'huile de basilic.
(Medallion of monkfish with eggplant, sliced and smoked with basil oil.)


Dessert:

Crème parfumée au pralin, entremet et sa glace façon tiramisu

(Praline Ice Cream and a Tiramisu)

Blame it on the salt content of our little Feast of the Assumption or perhaps it was the heat, but I’ll have you know that the next day neither my pants or my bras would fit, and my toes looked like cocktail wieners. I literally went up one whole clothing size overnight. I waddled around the apartment all day Sunday. At Sunday dinner French mother-in-law even mentioned in a ‘round about way that I looked a bit “Forte”….which by the by is one of my FAVORITE French expressions. How lovely is it that when a woman is a bit overweight they say “She’s a bit strong!”

Anyway, the meal was wonderful, even if it left me feeling a bit strong.

Dear Mom I'm On Vacation.

My mom always gets really pissed off when she has to read on my blog, after the fact, that I've gone on vacation yet somehow managed to forget to tell her. "You left the country and you didn't even tell me?"

And once again this week we somehow got all the way through 2 hour and 37 minute phone conversation where I forgot to mention we were leaving Friday for a short holiday.

So...

Mom, I know you're reading this, so this is for you. We are leaving for Crete at 11 AM this morning. So although you're still hearing about it from my blog, at least for once you know in advance.

Photos of our resort (which by the by, is half price if you go off-peak)

We'll be back next Friday. 'kay?

Why I Heart France Reason #15: Drink Up For Jesus!

One of the things I love most about living in France is the fact that Frogs claim to be Catholic, but are really total heathens that will turn any religious holiday into an excuse to get ripped on really tasty wine.

I freakin’ love easter.

*hiccup*

And in my best effort to become more Frog-like I too took part in heathenous activities this weekend. (In fact, months ago we booked tickets to Paris not realising that this weekend was in fact easter weekend. Duh!) Gone are the days of shopping for the perfect outfit to wear for the church Easter recital on Easter Sunday. This year we skipped all that and just went shopping on Easter Sunday!

What are the odds that Jesus will bitch slap me straight to hell for celebrating his miraculous return from the dead with Korean Barbeque, 11 euro worth of FrenchFries, and Ferragamo loafers?

First Vocab Word for 2009...Gueule de bois.

I have this philosophy when it comes to parties. One, it's not a real party unless something gets broken, and two, it wasn't a good party unless the next day you're at least a little bit embarassed by something you said or did.

Let's just say, it was a good party.

Last night I rang in the New Year with a delegation from the United Nations courtesy of the blogger formerly known as Madame R (aka the saucy Aussie) and her Frog who hosted an incredible NYE bash.

OK, it wasn’t really related to the UN in any way, but there were people from France, Hungary, Ireland, Poland, Turkey, Greece, Australia, the US, and Réunion. Even Anna Karina came.

Everybody had fun, and there was a good mix of music ranging from Bikini Kill to Charles Mingus. There was even some dancing, but I missed that part because I was in the kitchen breaking sh*t and spilling champagne all over the floor. But in my own defense I should add that things like that are bound to happen when one starts diluting her sangria with tequila half-way through the party because *wink wink* it will "make the sangria last longer for everyone".

(Side note: My sincere apologies to Madame R's kitchen floor and to the family of the champagne glass whose life I so carelessly took.)

Also---My Americanized cake salé recipes seemed to be real crowd pleasers. I am very happy about this... seeing as how much I personally hate cake salé. More on this later.



By 3:00AM FrenchBoy could barely keep his gorgeous big brown eyes open, so we decided it was time to go. On the way home, walking past the kebab "snack" shop on the corner, I got a brilliant idea for a portrait. One of those brilliant ideas that only comes to mind after having consumed two liters of sangria/tequila.

"The Kebab Portrait"

circa 3:18AM, January 1st, 2009.

Oh, and a translation for you non-Francophones, Gueule de bois = Hang-over.

That's a Wrap!

Well it's just after 8PM and Sarko has just finished giving his annual New Year's Eve address. This can only mean one thing: In a few hours, 2008 will be over, done with, and long gone.
I love the magic of New Year's Eve, but late December I do tend to get a case of the blues. Do you ever get that "not so content" feeling towards the end of the year?

As a natural born over-achiever, I tend to look back on the year and say to myself: "Crap, I wanted to get all this stuff done and I didn't even complete half of it." Like, what happened to all my New Year's resolutions I made last year? Why didn't I reach more of my personal and career goals? And most importantly, why am I not rich and famous yet?

So about two weeks ago in particular I was kinda having a really really miserable day. Aside from having a rather severe case of post-show blues (I had just finished the first weekend of my Christmas promo at the Artshop. More on that later.) I just couldn't shake this general feeling of lethargy and dissappointment.

It's so odd. I am thrilled with almost every aspect of my life, but when it comes to my career. I hold myself up to these insanely high standards, which of course only leads to dissapointment when I can't surpass the nearly impossible goals that I've set up for myself. It's a big doofus boobie-trap that leads to a downwards shame spiral that ends with me curling up on the sofa and eating like 30-40 chocolate cookies. The whole process makes about as much sense as me beating myself up for not being able to summit Mount Everest.

Luckily, art consultant extroardinaire Alyson Stansfield's end of the year Newsletter landed in my inbox just when I needed it.

She starts out:

"TIME OUT! Instead of thinking about what you still want to accomplish, consider acknowledging all you have done. Take time to write down your accomplishments for 2008."

So I did it. (With the help of this blog actually.) And I was amazed at how much I'd gotten done and how much I'd totally forgotten I'd done. So here's my list, I'm still adding to it, but it's a good start.

Art Accomplishments 2008

MARKETING STUFF:
1. I did a much needed May website update.
2. I bought and started using new E-mail campaign software.
3. I bought two new database softwares for record & bookkeeping.
4. Added 100 people to my mailing list.
5. Spent time helping 3 artists with planning, ideas, for their careers.
6. Gave my first Artist lecture in French!
7. Met 4 local French journalists that lead to publications.
8. Met at least 10 artists from the local art community and did studio visits with several.
9. Got a new logo and letterhead. (Which I now kinda hate but whatever.)
10. Developed a concrete marketing plan for my work.
11. Researched and found 3 French galleries to introduce my work to.
12. Met a gallery that is interested in including my work in a group show.

ARTICLES/INK:
13. Three- page article published in Liberator Magazine.

14. Full page in La Semaine Newspaper about myself and my work.
15. Work appeared in Nuevo Luz Magazine as part of New works award.


EXHIBITIONS:

16. Exhibited new work from “The Girl Who Became an Eagle” series at La Galerie Culture Plastique.
17. Participated in La Foire Européenne Art Contemporain.

18. Exhibited 15 photographic works from the (Re)callng (Re)telling series at Taller Boricua Gallery in New York.

19. Had Two works accepted into Double Exposure: African Americans Before and Behind the Camera that opened at The Museum of the African Diaspora in San Francisco and will continue on to several museum and gallery venues until 2011.

WORK:
20. Completed a series of commissioned hand-made books for the New York Foundation for the Arts.

21. Completed 10 new paintings specifically for La Foire Européenne Art Contemporain.

22. Completed a series of Gocco Screen prints: “I’ll Fly Away” and “Le Papillon Noir”.
23. Finished (Re)callng (Re)telling Photo series with the help of the En Foco New Work Photography Award.
24. Signed paperwork for two first edition prints of my photographs from the (Re)calling and (Re)telling Series to be acquisitioned into a Museum Permanent collection
25. Set up a Gallery share in downtown Metz with another artist.
26. Organized a very successful mail art exhibition at my new gallery space.

27. Planned and organized Premier opening at my new gallery space.

STUFF I SAW:
28. Saw the Francis Bacon Show at the Tate Britain
29. Saw the Rothko show at the Tate Modern.
30. Went to Paris to see the Louise Bourgeois retrospective.
31. Saw the Traces of the Sacred show at the Pompidou Center Paris.
32. Attended the 2008 Fresh Meat Transgender and Queer Performance Festival in San Francisco.

33. Snuck into the San Francisco art institute to see the Diego Rivera mural.
34. Visited at least 20 galleries in Paris.

STUDIO/ ENVIRONMENT:
35. Organized and implemented a new studio set-up and bought new work/studio furniture.

36. Invested in New brushes and amazing new brush wrack.
37. Cleaned and organized my sink working area and studio storage.
38. New File cabinet with organized hanging files.
39. Learned that getting up and dressed and keeping business hours makes me more productive than lounging around in my pajamas all day. DUH?
40. I learned that I cannot listen to music while I work. However listening to an audio book seems to help me concentrate.

Accomplishment of the year: (insert drum roll here.)

41. Finally, Finally, Finally, I have 2 complete shows worth of work, that I really love,

that are ready to rock and roll at ANY minute!

So that's that. The year 2008 didn't suck afterall. In fact it kinda rocked out. And on that note I'm gonna go get dressed so I can head out the door to go to my first French New Year's Eve party.

JOYEUSES FÊTES DE FIN D'ANNÉE À TOUS!

Enough Already!

I hate to say this, but I am so freakin’ happy that Christmas is over. I love to eat, but Christ on a cracker! ---This year the eating aspects of the Holiday were taken to an extreme. Of course no one force fed me, so I have no one to blame but myself. On the other hand, as far as gifts go, this year we streamlined. After last year’s gift extravaganza that resembled a wrapping paper and ribbon orgy, we decided to scale-back this year.

So, besides the 6 or 7 lbs I gained over the last week, I also got these 2 things for Christmas:

FrenchBoy snuck out and bought me a bottle of Hermèssence Rose Ikebana by Hermès. Whenever we go to a Hermès store to window lick, we beg the sales ladies to “spray us up” with the fancy perfumes. And sometimes they give you samples. (Note to anyone who likes free stuff: Go to Hermès and ask for samples. I think they are required by Hermès law to give them to you. Also, the samples are huge. By measurement, they are worth about 12 euros each and come in a mini version of the trademark orange box! So there ya go. Don’t say I never gave you nothin’.)

Gift#2 I bought for myself.

I found this little gem by Blue Finger Studios over at Etsy.

It’s a teeny tiny pendant made from a reclaimed Scrabble tile. It is so cute and little and perfect and it came with its own little silk necklace. I like it so much I may buy a few more as gifts in the coming year.

Anyway, that’s what I got.

What did y’all get (or give) for Christmas?

Gone Fishin'!

Metaphorically speaking anyway.

After an absolutely exhausting weekend that started with shooting bows and arrows with 10 French dudes, followed by margaritas and shots at a "latin" bar, and then ended with a pulled Gluteus medius that left me utterly incapacitated for 72 hours.....I need a break.

Tomorrow we're leaving for a 4-day get-away to London. (Good thing I can actually walk now!) And I won't be back here to blog for at least a week---Maybe 10 days....at which point I will tell you all about the bows and arrows and the Margaritas. And perhaps by then I will have solved the mystery of how I broke one of my ass muscles.

p.s. What the hell is there to do in London?

Home Sweet Home.

I never know where to begin blogging after a huge trip that involves 100s of activities, conversations, and meals, so I’ll just gloss over a few things since doing a whole week of NYC experiences any justice in a thousand words or less is nearly impossible.

The flight there was pretty uneventful. I watched 2 really bad movies and then immediately forgot them. I hopped off the plane, caught a taxi to Kasia and Kelly’s place, changed clothes and then jumped on the subway at 11PM to meet my friend Buddy in the village for dinner. Oddly enough we ended up eating at a French fusion diner called Florent….which recently lost its lease and is now going out of business. Alot of that going on in NYC lately. Just another indicator that my New York City is slowly but surely fading away. But that’s just how life is I suppose.

The next day I had a great American Breakfast with Kasia before heading out for some hardcore shopping. I seriously abused the exchange rate. It was lovely. Tuesday,Wednesday, and Thursday were filled with even more shopping, meeting up with friends that I literally hadn’t seen in a year. I bought 4 pairs of crocs, got a manicure and spa pedicure, ate gluten free pizza and bread-steaks, and drank gluten-free beer, got called “hot tits” by an insane homeless guy at Astor place, and got hit on by a goofy Midwestern Frat boy in front of Barnes and Noble at Union Square.

I love New York.

But ya know---the thing about New York is-- When I did live there, I didn’t really LIVE there. I was so busy with either school, or relationships, or work, or just trying to pay my rent that I never really enjoyed the experience of living in the one of the most amazing places on the planet. Now, every time I visit, I end up someplace and think: “How and why did I never come here before?”

There is also the realization that each time I visit NYC I love it a little bit more precisely because I don’t live there. No sky-high rent to pay ($1700 a month for a one bedroom anyone?), no shitty job with bad medical benefits to slave away at, and no mandatory subway suffocation in the thick of August. Yeah---it’s easy to love New York under these holiday conditions.

And Brooklyn. What can I say about Brooklyn? I swoon if I think about it for more than 30 seconds at a time. Don’t tell anybody, but I secretly dream of buying a brownstone in Park Slope one day as soon as I win the Euro Million lotto jackpot.

I don’t know how to explain it. While I’m there I feel like my heart is breaking every minute. So many memories that I think I will burst with joy to be “home” again.

But as soon as I’m back on the plane, I’m ready to be going ‘home”. See that’s the strange thing about “home”. And this last trip to New York made it more clear than ever that for me, France is home now.

Cheers and Chin!

I have this really horrible habit of writing posts, saving them, and then never publishing them. One of my New Year’s resolutions is to stop doing that. OK, not really.

Anyway, New Year’s Eve is also French Father-in-Law’s birthday. And since this year he turned 60, his family and friends conspired to throw him a surprise birthday party. He thought he was invited to a quiet dinner with another couple. Imagine his surprise when 30 people came popping out of a back bedroom to sing him Happy Birthday. And the singing didn’t stop there. It was a great night. And not just because I had one of my best hair days ever.

There was so much singing, and eating, and drinking. I needed a nap half way through dinner! The dancing had only just started at around 3AM when we decided we just couldn't take anymore and had to get home and into bed.

A few highlights from the evening:

1. The look of utter confusion on French Father-in-Law's face as we all jumped out to yell "Surprise!"

2. The Gorgeous Food!

3. Dancing and cheering!

4. The "Girls Only" drinking session in the wine cellar.

(note: Lemoncello + Ice Wine = Very Dizzy.)

5. All the love!












Update: After the party French Mother-in-Law did the empty bottle math to discover that, assuming everyone drank the same amount, each person at the party drank the equivalent of one bottle of champagne and two bottles of wine. It's official: I married into the coolest French family ever.