Saturday, February 25, 2006

Don't be watchin' skeery movies!

I LOVE scary movies. I mean I LOVE them! Not the stupid axe murderer, slasher, blood and gore flicks, but true, honest to God thrillers that make you freak out a little bit inside. You know, the kind of movies that make you think: "Damn, that could really happen." Of course I believe that all creepy and supernatural things are possible so I enjoy anything involving psychics, ghosts, demons, parapsychology, religious history, the occult, and anything else that involves people coming back from the dead to kick your ass.


I have spent the better part of my adult life in a constant search for the film that will scare me so bad that I won't be able to get to sleep at night, or even better the type of film that will inspire a nightmare so vivid or horrific that I wake up in a cold sweat screaming like a crackhead banshee.

To date it has never happened...well not quite.

But last night I watched a clumsy little incoherent "thriller" called White Noise. The plot: When the unexpected happens, architect Jonathan Rivers (Michael Keaton) becomes a grieving widower, but a paranormal expert approaches Jonathan with the unlikely: the ability to hear his wife from beyond the grave.


Through a form of unusual communication known as EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon), Jonathan is finally able to see his wife, but in doing so, he draws himself into a much more complex situation when his curiosity becomes an obsession. His obsession leads him to confront those not of this world, who don't approve of Jonathan's interference with their destructive nature.


But this is not a movie review. This is a review of what happened after I watched the movie.

So anyway, I watched the film and went to bed. As I was drifting off into a not so restful sleep---I heard something. Or at least I thought I heard something, but whatever it was just stopped. But then, a few seconds later I heard it again! Alone in the dark, I heard something that sounded like a freaky little voice talking or screaming. "Did I hear dead people?" you ask.

Uhm, not quite.

As it turns out, my stomach was growling in these high-pitched squeaky noises that were so loud that they actually woke me up as I was falling to sleep. I know---totally anti-climactic.

Moral of this story: No Michael Keaton movies before bed!



6 comments:

sandra said...

For some reason, exorcism-related movies always frighten the crap out of me. Well, scratch that -- pretty much ANY scary movie frightens the crap out of me.

Jul said...

BOO!

Kim/Thomas said...

hahah, I am way to chicken to watch those movies..I have steered clear of those all my life..my frog and I watched the movie, the secret window, with johnny depp, and I don't think we ever got to sleep! As soon as my imagination starts to kick in..i'm up for the rest of the night! I love your posts..i'll keep reading, you really are cracking me up!

Saron said...

I am the biggest chicken shit when it comes to scary movies. Sometimes I can handle thrillers, but horror films are out of the question. I think this has something to do with the fact that my older brother handcuffed me to the television and made me watch Nightmare on Elm Street 4 when I was young. So last night when White Noise came on TV with he description "thriller" I agreed to watch it with Eric. I spent the entire movie actively looking away from the screen, not wanting to be caught offgaurd by scary images.

You're right, Michael Keaton movies should definitely be avoided before bed.

Cree A. said...

We watched three horror flicks back to back on Halloween night last year: White Noise, The Ring 2, and The Grudge. Strangely enough, I slept just fine.

nicolle said...

hi, just now found your site through forjoke and had to comment. i saw a behind the scenes or making of the movie something or other about q.tarentino's new psychological thriller; Hostel.
really scary.
piss-in-your-pants-while crying-for-mommy-scary.
one person interviewed said that while leaving the theatre he actually saw VOMIT on the wall of the exit corridor!
how's that for a freaking thriller.