Tuesday, July 31, 2007

The highlight of my day.

Today while cleaning my brushes I did something incredibly stupid.

I squeezed a pallet knife.

Ok, what kind of doofus squeezes a knife?

Anyway, the cut is small but freakishly deep and since its on my middle finger, every time I flip someone off I start bleeding. I'm terrified that I may bleed out!

I would be laughing my butt off, but I'm too busy trying to decide whether or not I should head to L’hôpital for stitches.
Craaap. How stupid. Or as the French would say: "Oh la la. Quelle histoire!"

Friday, July 27, 2007

French Guys are hot.

I have been swamped with paperwork this week so I don't have much to say, I did however manage to watch a few good movies while taking "study breaks". The crappy video store down the street is going out of business and selling off all of their collection. I scored a handful of 5 euro DVDs that I plan to watch and then sell on Ebay, but one I will definitely be keeping is "Unfaithful" with Richard Gere, Diane Lane, and the very French Olivier Martinez ---who makes me blush every time I say his name. Plot summary:

"Connie Sumner has a loving husband, a beautiful home, and a wonderful son, but she wants more. When she's approached one day by a handsome stranger while trying to hail a taxi, she becomes obsessed with him and eventually starts an affair. But her selfish actions soon catch up with her... "

The handsome stranger of course is deliciously French. Complete with a scene in which he uses the most popular French curse words. "Putains! Mes bouquins!"
If there was ever a film that goes the distance to solidify the idea that French men are somehow always sexier than the average non-French fellow, this is it. I was already married to my FrenchBoy when I saw this film (in fact he saw it in the theatre with me) but if I hadn't been, this would have been pretty good motivation to do so. I mean any guy that can make Richard Gere seem average is pretty hot, no?

*Spoiler warning! Stop reading now if you haven't seen this film & intend to. STOP*

I don't want to give away the plot of the movie, but let's just say that somebody get's whacked.....and they're not American. In fact my Frenchboy and I have officially retitled the film "the movie where the French guy get's his head bashed in." It's a long title I know, but since I can't properly pronounce the French title, "Infidele", I'll stick with it.

Anyway, I have no idea where this post is going. I really only wanted to post that photo of Olivier. But I would like to add that I think it's a real tragedy when a hot French guy gets his head bashed in by Richard Gere. Especially because in reality there just aren't that many hot French guys to go around. The majority of them are short, average-looking, small-framed, chain-smoking, furry little bastards.

My gorgeous Frenchboy being the painfully obvious exception of course.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Got Paint?

The Barbie Dream House has en exterior now!

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Thursday we went for a quick visit, which turned into a long visit in which we completely changed the master bathroom and made an emergency appointment to modify ALL of the components we had previously ordered.

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This is what happens when you let two crazy kids design their own house.
I blame MTV cribs.

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Anyway, French Father-in-Law came along for the ride, so it was me and about 20 Frenchmen on a construction site. Somewhere in here there is a "How many French men does it take..." joke, but I'm just not clever enough to make it, so instead I give you the following:

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Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. It doesn't matter; if you're depending on the French to do the job, it's screwed anyway.

That said, our apartment is practically ahead of schedule since 6 months late is considered early in France. We suspect we will be all moved in by the 2nd week of September. Watch out for the CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK below.

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These guys were finishing putting down the last coat of grey crap on the guest bedroom when I arrived to take photos. Frenchmen are sexy?

Ass crack aside, I'm thrilled. You can't see me right now while you're reading this post, but I'm dancing. I'm doing the electric slide. No wait.... I have just switched to the running man complete with a white man's overbite.

Now you try! Don't stop! Get it, Get it!

Monday, July 09, 2007

Another Paris Art Weekend.


Let me explain something to you: I never get tired of seeing the Eiffel Tower. Just...Never!

I giggle EVERY time. Ya know?

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One of the best things about living in the Europe is being able to jump on a train or a low-fare flight and get to just about any major European capital in a matter of hours. Last weekend my adorable FrenchBoy bought us 2 round trip tickets on the TGV to Paris. Of course we hadn't planned on this being another one of our famous "Art Trips", but we saw this poster in a Metro station and I almost jumped for joy!

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Much to my surprise, the retrospective Kara Walker: My Complement, My Enemy, My Oppressor, My Love, which began at the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis, is currently on view at ARC/Musée d'Art Moderne de la Ville de Paris.

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"With one foot in the historical realism of slavery and the other in the fantastical space of the romance novel, Walker’s nightmarish fictions simultaneously seduce and implicate the audience. Walker’s work has been exhibited at the Museum of Modern Art, the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, the Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum, and the Whitney Museum of American Art. "

Oh, and did I mention that she won the MacArthur Foundation "genius" grant before her 30th birthday? Needless to say Kara Walker fascinates me. And there is nothing more satisfying than finally getting to see first hand the work of another artist whose work you have admired from afar for a very long time. It was such an unexpected treat!

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Besides all the art stuff, we of course did alot of eating. I had to take a photos of our Saturday lunch bill. If you look closely you will see that I ordered: "Ass Frites". Yum!

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After lunch we did some shopping. It is after all Les Soldes! (Please see Why I heart France: Reason #7) I managed to find a necklace and earring set on sale, and then the sales girl gave me the "sistah girl discount": you know, she accidentally rung up an extra 10% at the register which ended in me having a 55% total discount. Yeah! I also scored a not so on sale Cécile Jeanne necklace, earring, and bracelet set.


I'm going through a bird phase with my artwork and the second I saw these I just had to have them. I literally squealed with delight. ( I do alot of that.) We had to get a second mortgage on the new apartment, but who cares? Baby needs Bling! I got this set but in silver of course because when I wear gold around my neck I feel like an 80's rapper or something.


So that's that. And the moral of the story is: You too should marry a Frenchmen because they take you on fabulous weekend jewelry shopping trips to Paris and feed you pastries inspite of your ever expanding waisteline.


Saturday, July 07, 2007

Will Paint For Food.

One of the perks that comes with being an Artist (with a capital A) is the fancy parties you get invited to just because you can make pretty pictures.

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Every year the American Embassy in Luxembourg throws a swank cocktail party for Ambassadors, Diplomats, CEO’s, Celebrity Ex-pats, Spies, and Assassins. And because 2007 is the year that Luxembourg is the Capital of Culture, they really went all out for the occasion this year. Since our group show at the Europa Museum coincided with the holiday we were invited to attend the soiree which was held this year at Abbaye de Neumünster in old Luxembourgville.


The evening wasn’t really about Art or about much of anything really except having fun, but the organizers did request a few of our paintings to place in the cocktail area. My painting By Pale Moonlight, got a nice seat on stage behind the band. (Which is just cosmically perfect in ways I don’t have time to explain.)

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Anyway, after our red carpet arrival, we were offered champagne and cocktails of every kind. A full choir sang the Luxembourgish and then American National anthems, followed by the American Ambassador to Luxembourg making a quick speech about friendship between the US and Lux and thanking each of us by name for lending our artwork for the evening’s events.


There were no fire works, but it was a great time:
The Ambassador had the chef serve us her own Baked-bean recipe.

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We ate balled watermelon on fancy USA paper napkins.

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And last but not least, FrenchBoy ate his first (and 500th) jelly bean, went into a sugar frenzy, stole a balloon centerpiece and ran through the streets of Luxembourg singing the US national anthem.

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Seriously. It happened. It's all 100 percent true.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

The Art of Opening in Four Languages.

Mind you, I only tell people I speak 1.75 languages, but I managed to get through my first European art opening without any problems.

The Europa Museum is quite literally on the border of France, Luxembourg, and Germany, so the guests were from all three countries. At any given moment you could hear people speaking German, English, French, and Luxembourgish. It does make the head spin a bit, but after 4 years here I’ve grown used to it. I spent a good 10 minutes trying to explain to this lovely German gentlemen what the word “Octoroon” means. At one point I almost resorted to stick figure drawings, but somehow we got through it.

He was such a gracious listener and very interested in what I had to say with my narratives.

Actually the older German visitors were the most interested in my work, which surprised me. So now of course, I am all but certain that German will be the next language I learn. Scheisse!

So that’s that. My first show in Europe is hanging. I haven’t quite processed all that my brain has gone through in the last week or so, but right now I feel content and relieved to have one project finished. I have alot on my plate from now until September, and I can’t wait to get moved into my new studio so I can really get to work!

So many ideas, so little time!

Tonight I have work hanging for a 4th of July celebration thrown by the American Embassy in Luxembourg. In light of the current political climate concerning the US & the explosions in the UK, I'll let you know how it goes. Hopefully I won't have to get strip-searched to enter. Plus my work is already hanging there, but I haven't even received an invite! WTF?