Wednesday, June 07, 2006

French....or something like it.

The romance writer Faith Baldwin once wrote that "Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations." I don't actually own any dresses, but I couldn't agree more. My first 3 years living in France have made me a believer. I sometimes feel myself shifting and changing into something else; leaving behind parts of the old American me, and little by little picking up bits & pieces of the new French me.

That said, there are more than a few things that I've come to realize that I'm just content to keep. I may never truly be "French" even when my passport says I am.

List of things that make me un-frenchlike:

1. I like ice in my beverages. I get pissed off when a restaurant serves me a lukewarm drink.

2. I use the word "putain", which means whore or fuck, too frequently in casual conversation. (for an example, see #9)

3. I plan to smack my kids around when they get out of line or act like little jackasses. The French don't do that. Ever. And not because they think it's wrong, but because it's just too "uncivilized" for their sensibilities.

4. Although I don't own a bible, I'm still pretty religious by French standards....French people are mostly athiests and failed catholics.

5. I refuse to use a table cloth unless I'm hosting a formal dinner party.

6. I refuse to get ridiculously chunky blonde hilights on the top of my head, and then add jet black low-lights to the back. I also refuse to dye my hair Ronald McDonald red. Thats just retarded.

7. I believe you should have to know what customer service means if you work in a retail store. The customer isn't always right, but they ain't always wrong either.

8. Unlike French ladies , I doubt I will wear stilettos and continue to dress like a 20 year old when I'm 65 years old.

9. I will make my kids do chores! (Hello! Why the fuck don't French kids have to help with the housework? Lazy fucking Frogs!)

10. I've learned to turn down my speaking volume, but I still have a really loud laugh.
And frankly I just don't give a damn.


buzzgirl said...

I can't believe we're not related. Your list had me cracking up and nodding along. Oh, and in regards to customer service, why do I have to pay a company - Air France, par exemple - to call them to make a give them MORE of my money? Damn.

kaskaZ said...

I expect you to dress like an old French whore when I visit you when I am old and gray. Just for old time's sake.

epiphany7 said...

girl... i hate a lazy-ass kid!!! and hey... never let france dilute the brooklyn outta ya. never. remember... do or die!

MadameK said...

Bad customer service, lazy ass kids, old whores----what more can a girl want?