Thursday, February 05, 2009

Tag, you're it!: "25 Random Things About Me."

OK, this TAG has been spreading around the interweb and Facebook quicker than the clap in a college dorm, so I’ll just get it over with and post mine already:

1. I have entire conversations with the voices in my head---aloud. So loud in fact, that my FrenchBoy can hear me from all the way downstairs and often interjects: “Who the hell are you talking to this time?”

2. I’m really bad with numbers, and simple math of any kind.

3. When I’m drifting off to sleep I yell weird sentences like someone who has tourette’s syndrome. Last night I yelled something like: “It's coming in under the f*cking door!”

4. I have 3 brothers but I only know 2 of them.

5. I have the names for my first 5 kids already picked out, but I'm too busy to actually make some.

6. I’m only 5’3” but with my hair I’m at least 5’7”. That is mad rockstar.

7. I had a tracheotomy when I was 11.

8. I'm a nice person, but after too many drinks, I am pure Id.

9. I have no armpit hair.

10. I believe the space between my two front teeth makes me lucky. Also, I can fly.

11. I hate tomatoes, pudding, custard, apple sauce, grits, bananas, jello, or any soft food that feels weird in my mouth. Seriously, I will hurl.

12. I was blonde for 3 years.

13. I’m 6 chapters into my first novel. (I figure, if Dan Brown can do it, how hard can it be?) It’s a murder mystery, yet the main character is psychic.

14. When I was 16 I punched a drunk guy at an L7 concert. "BRICKS ARE HEAVY B*TCH!"

15. I have 8-10 tubes of chapstick that I use simultaneously. There are 2 sticks hidden in every room of my house just in case I have a dry lip emergency.

16. I haven’t left my house in 2 days. I hate leaving my house. It’s effin’ nice in here.

17. I haven’t had a “real job/day job/9-5 job” in 7 years.

18. I miss my husband the very second he leaves the house. Sometimes I wish we were siamese twins, but not the kind connected at the head because that would suck.

19. I can eat an entire cake in one sitting without breaking a sweat.

20. I kinda hated grad school.

21. I can drink you under the table. (Especially if I have just eaten an entire cake in one sitting.)

22. Every night I have dreams in which I fight people and win. But once this freak bit off all my fingers. That sucked.

23. My mom is an ordained minister.

24. I'm hopelessly addicted to coke. Coke Zero.

25. I firmly believe that cleanliness IS godliness.


Nallama said...

I also have conversations with myself, although I make sure the voices don't become audible.

Btw. I'm loving the blog and I'm starting to learn French (again) how long did it take you to fully be confident in your language learning?

Madame K said...

Hey Nallama---I can't actually say that I'm confident in French...I just don't care about making mistakes anymore. And I'd say it took me about 3 years to get to the shabby level that I'm at now.

screamish said...

that was a great list. It was way Too Much Information and kinda scary, but great.

I will never get into a fight with you....I hope!

Ms. Wooden Shoes said...

So you got tagged huh? Just read a great article about this ubiquitous list in the NY Times. You should check it;

Shanster said...

Oh yeah - I totally agree with screamish... NEVER want YOU mad at ME! I would show my soft underbelly and submissively piss myself.

I am also hopeless at math of any kind...I still count on my fingers even tho the nuns in my gradeschool wouldn't let me. I learned to use them super seeecretly!

I completely identify with #8 and wish for #9.

Substitute Carmex for chapstick in #15 for me. I get a little panicky if one room doesn't have a tub o' the Carmex.

Madame K said...

Yeah totally TMI, but my philosophy is if you're gonna go ballz out, go ballz out!

Anyhoo, I'm not much of a fighter, but if I were I'd go all Mike Tyson and go for the ear lobes straight-away.

"Carmex--It's crack your your lips bitches!"

Megan said...

How funny. I do things like that when I am half-asleep too. Once Alain came to bed and I warned him very seriously to watch out for the metal pole in the bed.

By any other name said...

How is it that you have no armpit hair? Naturally? Really? I feel ya on the hair. I am 5'8". Height, heels and hair puts at 6'3"!!!

Edward or Jacob said...

Madame K you are too much!!! lol

Now do tell me about your's gorgeous

Benny said...

Madame K you are the GUTS! I just posted my 25 on Facebook a minute ago. I will give you some highlights:
3. I tap my foot and make humming noises if I'm really enjoying my meal.
4. Love to use grandma terminology like, "fassy mae" to describe a loose woman.
8. Thinks that laughing so hard until you pee yourself is A OK.
10. I'm country. I play it proper for the most part but on those unexpected occasions something real will come out my mouth. I've been known to cuss a fool out.
13. Sometimes I fantasize about dancing in the middle of the street Fame style while walking to the BART from work. I would do it but I've seen a cab driver throw pee at his passengers in San Fran and there's no tellin' who I would have to cut if some nut ruined my fantasy fulfilled by throwin' piss at me.
14. My mother taught me a lot of things and some of them would have me behind bars.
25. I never owned a pair of Cross Colours, had a jerry curl, shaved lines into my eyebrows, had the Salt N' Pepa jacket from the video Push It, or dated Kid from Kid N' Play, but I wanted to.

Mignon said...

I quite destroyed my reputation “amongst new snooty mom friends” when I admitted to #19. I will never forget the look of horror on their faces as I admitted to this. And then accused them of lying when they said they never had or could. Oh well, I only want friends who can keep up.

wcs said...

I can drink me under the table too. Without cake.

Katie said...

Wow, I didn't think we have so much in common: I second you on:

Especially out loud conversations with myself, i will start out as whispers, then before i can notice, i'm talking out loud. it is so embarrassing, but i can't help, i just crack myself up. I do in in the car too, and people drive by, and i'm just mortified.

Katie said...

"3. I tap my foot and make humming noises if I'm really enjoying my meal."

- Benny, that is so funny. I can visualize it right now, in a restaurant, just humming and tapping away. that's so cute.