What do you believe?

I believe that champagne and a few cigarettes is a balanced meal.

I believe in grocery shopping 7 minutes before the market closes.

I believe there should have been one Black girl on Sex and the City.

I believe that having sex in a car is a very good thing.

I believe that expensive jewelry is over-rated.

I believe every girl should own a book by Audre Lorde.

I believe people should be taught that God is not a judgmental asshole.

I believe that Oprah Winfrey should be wacked about the head with a 2x4.

I believe in sex on the first date. (possibly in a car)

I believe that self defense classes for school-aged girls should be mandatory.

I believe everyone should have one gay friend (or one str8 one if you're gay).

I believe that "feminist porn" is a good cure for insomnia.

I believe that everyone should try dancing to elevator Muzac in the grocery store at least once.

I believe that men should get bi-weekly manicures and monthly pedicures.

I believe that the best gifts often cost less than $4.99.

I believe Manolo Blahnik should design a stiletto heel that doesn't bruise the balls of my goddamned feet.

I believe that everyone should learn to play a musical instrument.

I believe I should have a live-in chef and a full-time cleaning lady or dude (preferably a blonde with huge pecs or tits, whatever the case may be).

I believe that Lisa Bonet, Cree Summer and I are destined to have a three-way.

I believe that cashmere is just wool for rich people.

I believe that every REAL man should try shaving his legs/and or bikini area at least once.

I believe in listening to one new CD by a FEMALE band/artist every month & stealing everything else off Kaza.

I believe that reality TV makes people dumb.

I believe in taking photos with an "old fashioned" film camera.

I believe that fashion is irrelevant.

I believe that fat girls shall inherit the earth.