Part of the reason this blog is so gosh darn funny is because, well, funny stuff happens to me. Believe me I would love to be able to take more credit for the humorous moments, but alas I must admit, there isn’t much need for embellishment on my part.
And with that admission, I bring you a scene from my so-called life. A lovely 30 second exchange between myself and a drunk toothless guy in the line at the MATCH grocery store this afternoon: (Translated into English for clarity & hilarity).
Drunk Toofless Guy: Bonjour Madame.
Madame K: Bonjour.
Drunk Toofless Guy: Oh, go to the other line, he’s about to open the register! Go! Go Fast!
Madame K: Oh, thanks, but I doubt he will be open soon. I’ll stay here.
Drunk Toofless Guy: Aaaah. You just want to stay in this line because I’m in it.
Madame K: (No response. Continues unloading groceries onto filthy conveyor belt.)
Drunk Toofless Guy: Hey! You’re a Creole!
Madame K: (Still gives no response, but offers her signature WTF glare.)
Drunk Toofless Guy: You’re not a Creole? You’re from The Antilles right? Les Antilles. Les Antilles. Les Antilles.
Madame K: What? No, I’m American.
Drunk Toofless Guy: What? You’re American? American? Aaaaahhhh George Bush?
Madame K: Hey! I’m from New York, not from Texas!
Drunk Toofless Guy: Aaaah. The Towers. The 2 towers. They fell!
Madame K: Uhm ,yeah.
Drunk Toofless Guy: Aaaaah. (turns and wanders away.)
Madame K: (continues loading groceries onto filthy conveyor belt.)