Friday, July 03, 2009

Why I Heart France Reason# 16: Being French Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry.

Please carefully consider this conversation I overheard yesterday at the bank:

French Lady w/ pancake-ass: Bonjour, I need to make a deposit into my account.

(she hands him a fat envelope.)

Mr. Dim-witted Bank Teller: Merci Madame, Just one moment.

(Insert sound of dim-witted tapping sounds on computer keyboard.)

Mr. Dim-witted Bank Teller: There you go Madame, Please sign this form.

French Lady w/ pancake-ass: Uhm, Excuse me. This isn’t my account. You put my money in someone else’s account!

Mr. Dim-witted Bank Teller: Oh?

French Lady w/ pancake-ass: Yes! That’s not my name!

Mr. Dim-witted Bank Teller: Ooooh! Good thing you caught that!

(Insert sound of more dim-witted tapping sounds on computer keyboard)

Mr. Dim-witted Bank Teller: There you go Madame, Please sign this form.

(French Lady w/ pancake-ass carefully re-examines and then finally signs form then storms out of bank.)

(End Scene)

Yep. The dim-witted bank teller acidentally deposited this Dame’s 3235€ (make that 4,524.86 USD) into someone else’s bank account (yeah I have the eyes of a hawk and I could easily see the amount written on her deposit slip over her right shoulder.) and then blows it off like it’s no big deal?

Now, after living in France for so many years I’ve grown accustomed to the French inability to assume responsibility for their actions or to make a proper apology, but syriousleee…as soon as I heard him say “Good thing you caught that!” I thought to myself “Good thing it’s not my money you f*cked up buster because I’d have to leap across this counter and mince yur teeny frog brain a bit.”

Ok, my heat and hormone induced violent tendancies aside…wtf? Am I the only one who thinks that since he made a grave error concerning a boatload of cash, that he could have broken the Frenchy Code of diss-Honor and at least offered this woman a "Oh, Excuse me Madame!"?

Heart-felt Sidenote: Just for the record I would like to state that I have nothing against the pancake-assed folk among us. I am well aware that not everyone can be blessed by the great Godess of Junk-in-the-Trunk. But since this poor woman's ass was so insanely nonexistant, that's pretty much all I can re-call about the woman's physical appearance. Please refrain from sending me hate-mail relating to pancake-assed people's rights etc etc.

I even have a hat to prove it. But not really.


Gilbert said...

I hope you gave the idiot the evil eye and made a point of double checking your slip in a big dramatic way. This is when looking down your nose at someone comes in handy.

And as a pancake-assed American with no love in the trunk, very funny!!!

Aaron Grunwald said...

But of course... I'm "sure" she filled out the form incorrectly! Or at least that's what he told his co-workers.

But, yeah, for a biggie like that, he could have pretended to blame the computer system or something. Smacked his monitor once or twice before giving her a new receipt. Lame.

I hope she keeps checking her account, to make sure she her deposit really cleared!

JamasiaN said...

I have never heard of that kind of thing being passed off. I will forever be weary of French bankers from now on.

Anonymous said...

ha! i flew air france regularly from düsseldorf to philadephia (hey, they were cheap, what can i say?). after 9/11 - when airline safety regulations for tightened for flights to/from the usa - sh*t hit the fan. there were delays that weren't to be believe. and the france ground crew? "c'est la vie, said the old folk." they sure didn't care. i was literally in line with people with a connecting flight leaving soon, who had been steered into our line by an air france attendant (after a look at their ticket!!!), who - upon reaching the counter - were told "pardon! now it's too late to make your flight. you'll have to get in line over there to see if you can find a seat on another flight." kids or no kid? not my problem! disabled older folks? not my problem!

i was on a flight from paris to düsseldorf with over 100 passengers where under 10 bags made it back to germany with their respective passangers! mine was not amongst them.

at least british ariways pretended to be all broken up about delays and sh*t....

*cueing elton john and george michael singing "sorry seems to be the hardest word"*

Team Jacob said...

I cannot even imagine..if it was $2 sure but $4000..I would have cut his rass Caribbean style!!!!

Swoopey said...

Ha!!! Great story! We seem to live in opposite cultures. Had that been here in Japan... well, that just wouldn't have happened. They take 5 minutes verifying everything!!! This is truly the land of over analysis and double checks to the point of insanity! :)


sprite said...

haha that is so funny, what an idiot. the brits on the other hand make mistakes and LIE/COVERUP/DO WHATEVER IT TAKES not to accept responsibility. i have never met people who lie as much as the brits. often for no good reason at all...

Astrid said...

What can I say apart from "Amen!"

I have now made it a sport getting my incompetent French colleagues to admit that what was clearly their mistake, was their mistake. Of course they never apologise but when I know where the fault lies I poke the stick until they admit it at least... Call me a sadist but one needs some pleasures during a long working day :)

Nicole J. Butler said...

In Chicago or L.A., that might very well have resulted in a new kind of ass-whipping.

Not that I advocate violence or anything, I'm just sayin'...