Why I Heart France Reason #17: Sin Delivery.

One of the things that always made me a bit grumpy about living in the armpit of France is all the modern conveniences that you simply can't get. The French simply can't seem to get the hang of delivery service. Yes, we can pizza delivered, but untill about 2 years ago if you didn't go to pick it up yourself, the pizza would arrive chez vous roughly 1.5 hours after your ordered the damn thing, on the back of a 18 year old motorbike-riding half-wit who clearly jumped up and down on it 3 or 4 times just before he rang your doorbell. And did I mention that said pizza would taste like it had been seasoned with old gym socks?

Somehow in France you can get a doctor to come to your house at 8PM for 5 Euros, but pizza or egg rolls? B^tch, not if your life depended on it.

So imagine my delight when I got this flyer in my mailbox a week ago:



Alert Drink offers free home delivery of aperitifs, smoothies, cocktails, wines, champagnes, salads, sandwishes & paninis, ice-cream, desserts, and....wait for it......Sex toys and accessories.

At first I thought it was just bizarre, but then I realised the Alert Drink genious. We live in a part of France where they roll up the sidewalks at 7PM. What about us drunks and pervs who want to party till dawn?

Ah, finally a delivery service with us in mind!

Not For Nothing....

but as of December 13th, FrenchBoy and I have been married 6 years.

And in classic fashion we completely forgot about it until about 8PM that evening when French Mother-in-law reminded us...by sending us a text message on my phone.

All so very romantic.

OOOOh-Weee! I Been Busy....Readin'!

Well first I’d like to apologize for not blogging as of late. I’ve been really really drunk busy. Well, it is the Christmas season and all. And Goddess knows the only way to make it through the uber-grey Alsace-Lorraine winter is to get y'ur drink on start a book club with a few friends.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. I have friends now. Unlike when I lived in Thionville, now that I live in the big city of Metz (please catch my sarcasm) I actually have managed to build up a lovely group of friends to get drunk spend time reading books with. How a former Brooklyn party-girl literati could survive 4 years in a small town in France without a proper drinking possee book club, is a complete mystery to me, but it happened.

But those days are over, and now that I have myself a pretty nice sized posse. Big enough that when we all go out together we have to make reservations so they can push 2-3 tables together. We have even developed proper drinking book club names for eachother such as Quich-Lorraine, Kir-on, A-Ron Hubbard, and La Rochelle, all clearly inspired by copious amounts of wine our favorite literary references.

We all ended up in France for different reasons, and we’ve all been here differing amounts of time, but the one common denominator is that we all really appreciate being able to spend time with other Anglophones. As lovely as France can be, there are days when you’d prefer to be just about anywhere else on the planet earth. And on days when I need to drown those sentiments in a bottle of Rosé good book, well, now I have buddies to do that with.

Photo caption: "I love the reading!"