Sunday, December 20, 2009

Why I Heart France Reason #17: Sin Delivery.

One of the things that always made me a bit grumpy about living in the armpit of France is all the modern conveniences that you simply can't get. The French simply can't seem to get the hang of delivery service. Yes, we can pizza delivered, but untill about 2 years ago if you didn't go to pick it up yourself, the pizza would arrive chez vous roughly 1.5 hours after your ordered the damn thing, on the back of a 18 year old motorbike-riding half-wit who clearly jumped up and down on it 3 or 4 times just before he rang your doorbell. And did I mention that said pizza would taste like it had been seasoned with old gym socks?

Somehow in France you can get a doctor to come to your house at 8PM for 5 Euros, but pizza or egg rolls? B^tch, not if your life depended on it.

So imagine my delight when I got this flyer in my mailbox a week ago:

Alert Drink

Alert Drink offers free home delivery of aperitifs, smoothies, cocktails, wines, champagnes, salads, sandwishes & paninis, ice-cream, desserts, and....wait for it......Sex toys and accessories.

At first I thought it was just bizarre, but then I realised the Alert Drink genious. We live in a part of France where they roll up the sidewalks at 7PM. What about us drunks and pervs who want to party till dawn?

Ah, finally a delivery service with us in mind!





10 comments:

Karin (an alien parisienne) said...

Wow. All that AND sex toys and accessories, too. WOOT!! Good times. Party on! And heeeeyyy, they even take tickets restos! Not bad.

Have fun. ;-)

Sara Louise said...

All I want for Xmas is some Chinese food delivered to my door but I'm not going to hold my breath

Jennie said...

Hahaha I love how sex toys just kinda jumps out at you in that list. Alcohol delivered to your house, ah France!

A Scot in London said...

That is sheer and utter class. Now the neighbours can think you are geeting a pizza delivered when in fact it's alcohol and shagging sessions. Have to hand it to the French when the do something they really do it,

Jake the ColoIowaConnectifrancilite said...

I wonder if they deliver on time? I know that pizza can be an issue of waiting for hours.

Shanster said...

Love it... I'll have a pannini... and um, maybe the John Holmes power shaft.... yes. I think that will be it. Oh, could you throw in a Diet Coke?

kolbyirish said...

I love some sex toys..with my smoothies? WTF TFF!

Cynthia said...

Now this delivery service is
truly awesome!

Aaron Grunwald said...

They were located in our hood... and they went out of business a few weeks ago!!

BebeJardin said...

We have Max's Delivery in New York, which delivers liquor, condoms and food. Good times! I wonder if the delivery guys every encounter a customer with a boner at the door. Just curious :)