Monday, June 21, 2010

Why I Heart France Reason #18: Scandalous!

The BP oil spell is ruining a corner of the planet, there are wildfires blazing in Arizona, and a mine explosion killed 45 people in China, but in France all anyone is talking about is the “Champs de ruines” that is the French National Football team. I thought the whole under-aged prostitution ring scandal was as bad as it could get, but apparently we haven’t seen nothin’ yet! The French simply cannot get enough wine, cheese, and scandal in their diets. How do you say "More please!" in French?

French football manners

Last night there was an hour long special about the incident in which during last week's World Cup match, player Nicolas Anelka told coach Raymond Domenech to quote: “Go get yourself f*cked un the *ss , you dirty son of a wh*re.”


As a nouveau immigrant, I still haven’t fully grasped how much a part of the culture Football is for zee people of France, but last night’s broadcast has brought me a whole heck of alot closer to finally getting it. Seriously—I haven’t seen so many gloomy faces and grim expressions since the 9/11 terrorist attacks. I’m talking about grown men on the verge of crying on national television….over effin’ football! I’ve always understood that the French have a gift for the dramatic, but this has become full-fledged theater. Step up and buy your ticket.

Yesterday the entire French football team pulled a no-show for practice in protest of Anelka being kicked out of the World Cup and sent home from South Africa. And oh wait! The plot thickens! I just read that an emergency meeting has been scheduled for today to see if the team can be salvaged. (Warning: If the team collapses it may throw the whole country into civil war. But no worries. In the even that this happens I will continue blogging from the Häagen-Dazs ice-cream shop in Kirchberg mall in Luxembourg City.) I can’t wait to see what happens next. This is better than the last movie I rented on Pay-per-view.

Stay tuned. And don't forget the pop-corn.

Sidenote: All of this TV watching is excellent for my vocabulary. My new favorite expression: “Champs de ruines” which is basically a fancy French way of saying something is FUBAR.

Sidenote#2: Also, Thierry Henry is hot.


Just sayin'.


the fly in the web said...

Wisely,you don't show Henry's hands....
I bought earplugs and looked out my loudest music in preparation for all the voices blaring the Marseillaise from surrounding farms...but so far...not a bleat.

Cherise said...

See, I get it. I do. I mean the national disgrace and all. Living with an Englishman for 7 years taught me all there is to know about football and national disgrace.

but still. here I was feeling a wee bit guilty thinking so much of football while southern France was experiencing these horrific floods. And I see it's not just me, but the French as well.

Shanster said...


Team Jacob said...

Oh but it is important lol
But that is ridiculous!

Madame K said...

Fly- lol@henry's handsFly-

Cherise- Yep, total overload. I came home last night from la Fete de La Musique and there was STIIL football crap on!

Anonymous said...

Have you heard what the press is saying now that Bachelot met with the team? It seems that what's happened to the Bleus is just a reflection of what is going on in the banlieus -- disrespect, no pride in being French, lawlessness, etc.

Madame K said...

Dedene- I'm gonna try to catch the talk shows later tonight. What you said sounds about right. My husband said: You can take a player out of the banlieu, but you can't take the banlieu out of the player.

Jennie said...

Henry is very hot. Too bad he's leaving Europe to play for the NY Red Bulls, which means we will never see his adorable face on French TV again. Sad.

anji said...

how'd it end???

sprite said...

Am I the only one who does not consider Henry remotely hot..?
BTW, Madame K I took up your suggestion about the ped egg- love it!