Are you effin' kidding me?
When I heard on the morning news that Jean Dujardin won an Oscar, I immediately had the following two thoughts in rapid fire succession:
1. Oh snap! Someone must have slipped a some wacky drugs into my last batch of Nespresso capsules and I am now having a crazy, laced coffee-induced hallucination.
2. Holy F*ck. I've had a mild stroke in the area of my brain that controls language because I could swear the TV lady said "Brice de Nice" won an Oscar.
As it turns out, I was neither drugged or stroking out.
Like George Clooney, I spent the next 24 hours in a bitter, hazy cloud of shock, disbelief, and disgust. And then it dawned on me: Of course the Academy loves him. They don't have to suffer through his crappy french TV show and they've clearly never seen any of his other work.
I dare you to make it to the 5 minute mark without thinking to yourself:
"This dude won a frickin' Oscar? For realsies?"
Let's fast forward to the part where I give you my 2013 Oscar picks.
My pick for Best Actor in a Leading Role: