Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Frickin Oooouch!

Well friends, I just got home from my first guitar lesson and well, I’m having a really hard time typing this post because…..MY FRICKIN FINGERS ARE BLEEDING. What kills me is that not one of you dear readers warned me about how badly it would hurt. To make matters worse, my guitar is heavy as shit and is twice as big as my teacher’s guitar. You know that guitar case I bought for it 6 months ago and then promptly threw on a shelf in the garage? The damn guitar won’t even go half way in it! I had to carry “the beast” to the lesson nude.

Question: How hard would you laugh your ass off if you saw a ‘lil black lady jump out of her fancy mom-mobile, pop open the trunk, pull out a big-ass black guitar that looks like something Johnny Cash would play, then start running down the street with it? If I had video footage of my arrival to my lesson this afternoon I would post it on YouTube so you all could enjoy it as much as I am enjoying replaying it in my head right now.

On the positive side, my teacher is fabulous and very patient with my lack of magical guitar playing ability, although I’m sure she thinks I’m mentally challenged in some way because every time I got confused I would wrinkle my face up right good, close my left eye, and just start grunting like I was constipated.

And thus goes the story of my first guitar lesson. A little bruising and lots of grunting. But still it’s better than air guitar.

With any luck, in about 6 months, I will be able to play “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” without crying or getting bloodstains on my left pant-leg.


Mark Reynolds said...

Are you learning on an electric or acoustic? I think electrics are usually a lot easier on the fingers, though finickier to play.

Either way, once you start being able to play something song-like, you won't notice the pain, and soon after that, you won't feel it at all.

I was self-taught, and didn't progress beyond a few basic chords as a result, but I love playing even to the extent of my limited ability. Stick with it - it's worth it.

By any other name said...

I played the violin and cello for years. Neither of which prepared me for the pain of learning the bass guitar. My fingers hurt like a sommamabitch and worse they never callused. So, I gave of my dream of playing the bass as smooth as Larry Graham but with the hyper-sexuality of Betty Davis. *Sigh* dreams, they never come true.

Team Jacob said...

You are funny!!!
I am sure it will get better with time and you will be strumming away some old love songs :)

Anonymous said...

No way in hell could you ever describe your Audi as a mom-mobile, hatchback or not. It is rockstar, and so are you and your beastly guitar.

I remember when I had to build up callouses on my feet to dance en pointe, and thinking "this is it? But it was so beautiful to watch and I love ballet so much!". And then I sucked it up. And it still hurt. But, um, it looked awesome?

So think of how rockstar you will look, and don't worry about the constipation grunts. Most musicians look pretty funky when they're performing, and perhaps you can turn it into a signature? Wonky-eyed constipation?

Anonymous said...

I love reading your blog even though I dont have a lot of time for it. I was laughing all the way down the page and had to show my 'Frenchman' (versus French boy). I'm an American expat living in the French Alps - just married my French frog two months ago, and no, I don't speak French much either but I start classes in September. I'm going in kicking and screaming at the threat of death from my husband. I learned Italian quickly in my 30's but my 50 year old brain refuses to cooperate with French. Anyway, keep us laughing (esp us expats who need a good laugh occasionally!). Fortunately, my Frenchman can make me laugh daily. Cynthia in the French Alps

ValeriesWorld said...

Well Done starting your lessons, your fingers will get stronger. Keep up the good work.

Black and (a)Broad said...

Here's to you for learning something new. Keep at it,a nd I'm sure you'll be a natural. Congrats.