Weekend Pierogi Blogging

So eventhough I should have been home finishing stuff for my show that opens on Thursday, FrenchBoy and I spent the weekend in Poland of all places. Krakow to be exact....or Cracow.

We met up with Kasia and Kelly my pals from NYC and later we were joined by their friends from Berlin, Timo and Franka. Kasia was in Poland visiting her family and of course we were more than happy to all meet up. And what a time we had:

Friday night we got in late after taking 2 different buses and a very bumpy flight. We were too late to join everyone for dinner so FrenchBoy and I headed to the big ass square Rynek Glowny to check it out. We soon realised that "Krakow" means "party" in Polish.

The square was absolutely packed with revelers of all ages drinking gi-normous Polish beers at one of the hundred or so terrace cafes. I even saw the Virgin Mary do a shot of Żubrówka . You see how she's leanin' a bit riiiiight?

After dinner and a few very affordable cocktails we stumbled back to our hotel room and drifted off into a deep sleep only to be awaken at 3 AM by the group of drunk hooligans singing in the hotel hallway. One of many early morning impromptu sing-alongs to take place over the course of the weekend.

Saturday morning we headed over to meet Kasia & Kelly at their swank hotel. And since our free breakfast looked like this:

we decided that the buffet breakfast in their hotel restaurant was a better option.

After I finished my 2 glasses of Prosecco we were off to the famous Salt Mines of Wieliczka which was just uber-bizarre and quite hilarious....or maybe it was just the Prosecco talkin'. But if it's good enough for the Pope, Copernicus, Goethe, and Chopin ...well then I guess it was good enough for us too.

Salty Mary:

Salty Gnomes:

Salty Jesus:

Salty People:

About 1.5 hours into the tour we got tired and escaped the mines. Later that evening we all met up again for the annual Wianki Festival which used to be based on a very charming ancient Polish celebration on St. John’s Day that involved young girls floating wreaths of flowers and magic herbs with lit candles down the Vistula (Wisla) river. But apparently that was too old fashioned so the whole thing got upgraded to performances by 80's has-been popstars and a mind-blowingly long fireworks display upon the riverbank opposite the Royal Wawel Castle.

Yes folks---I saw Bananarama live in concert in Krakow. Jealous much? And those Poles can really shake it!

After about 2 hours of sitting on wet grass watching a few musical acts we headed up to Kasia and Kelly's swank hotel room which had a panoramic view of all the events.

We ordered room service and cocktails and enjoying the gi-normous fireworks show---when out of nowhere Kelly proposed to Kasia (in Polish no less!) with a gorgeous tension set diamond that we had been hiding in their luggage for the whole trip! Later after we ate our hamburgers and finished jumping for joy, we watched the cops break up a fight between 2 eurotrash girls.

So just to re-cap: I saw Bananarama live in concert, two of my favorite friends got engaged, and I saw two Euro-Skanks get into a bitch-fight. Truly one of the most memorable nights of my life.

Sunday was our last day in Krakow, so French Boy and I made the best of it by taking a "Crazy Communist Tour" of the Nowa Huta district of Krakow.

Our guide Jacob picked us up at the hotel and wisked us away to the historic communist district that was originally gifted to Krakow by Stalin himself. It later came to be one of the centers of revolution and resistance within Poland, leading to the eventual overthrow of the communist government.

The Crazy Guides is run by a group of young guys who really know their history. We met up with another group led by Bartek and so we actually had the advantage of hearing two very different perspectives on the history of Communism in Poland. (If I remember correctly, Bartek studied Economics and Jacob studied Sociology.) The whole thing was just a real treat.

After our crazy tour we headed back to the hotel to change for our fancy dinner reservations at Wierzynek Restaurant which has been in business since 1364. (No that is not a typo.) It was crazy old-fashioned fancy. The hostesses wore ball gowns and the waiters brought us our main courses wearing white gloves. For real!

Then just when you thought it couldn't get any better the four waiters revealed our dinner entrees by by lifting the sterling-silver plate dome thingies in one perfectly choreographed motion.

Dude---it was baller....like food Performance Art.

After dinner we headed over to the very un-touristy Kazimierz neighborhood to hang out at a local bar----where apparently drinks are free. We each got a glass of something and the total came to $7.

I love Krakow.

And now here's a little something just for you:

Floor Floor and more floor!

Well the Barbie Dream House officially has flooring!

After a rough start, (the company we were originally contracted with went out of business) we managed to pick out the floors we will be walking on in our new apartment. This may seem like an easy task, but it took us about 6 hours total to decide.

In France the floors of most homes are covered in tile: "carrelage", but being an American, I couldn't get past the fact that tile reminds me of a bathroom, so we only ended up using tiling for the kitchen and bathrooms of course.

In the end we found some basic neutral colored stuff. We went pretty "classique" in the two upstairs bathrooms. But for the downstairs bathroom I have this funky idea that everything should be black----très dramatique!

And don't you just love this color on the right---it's called "Natural Negro".

Why I heart France: Reason #9

Did I mention that one of the reasons I love France so much is because I love the food?

Thursday was French mother-in-law’s 40th birthday. *wink wink*

In normal French fashion we had a lovely family barbeque complete with gorgeous yummy food and of course lots of Wine and champagne.

That’s all I have to say about that. The photos speak for themselves.

France is Deee-liscious!

J'ai rien de tout!

I got nothing. My life hasn't been very French this week so I'll just dump some random video footage from my camera here for your entertainment:

Video #1 --- Me driving through a freakishly long Luxemburgish tunnel last week. Or maybe I was in Germany. No, it was Luxemburg.

Question #1: Why did I make this video?
Question #2: Why the hell did I have my wind-shield wipers on?
Response to question #3: yes, I listen to Christian Rock while driving.

Video #2 --- Shall we buy the fancy 26 euro light switch or the regular one for 9 euros?

If you listen very very closely you can here my darling FrenchBoy say "Fuck that. I'll get the regular one." p.s.---the music was not added. It was just playing out of the speaker in the lightswitch display. I swear. I can't make this shit up.

Video #3 ---I am constantly making "accidental movies"because instead of keeping my camera set on photo, I set it on movie.

I don't know why, but this one makes me die laughing. It's like a PSA for a don't drink and shop campaign geared towards yuppies. It may be the funniest 1 second video ever made.

In Metz....You might get cut!

Oh, SNAP! Apparently our new crib is in the hood!

Security move after judge stabbed

A mother who lost custody of her child has stabbed a judge in a court in Metz, France, prompting President Nicolas Sarkozy to order stricter security in courtrooms.

Judge Jacques Noris was stabbed three times in the abdomen with a long knife, and was taken to hospital in serious condition, according to fellow judge Guerric Henon.

The incident occurred after Noris, who handles child custody cases in the court in Metz, ordered a child placed in care outside the home, court officials said.

Man, I thought I had escaped reading headlines like this when I left Brooklyn, but clearly I was wrong.





*shaking head in dissapproval*

La Fête des Mères American Style.

Sunday was la Fête des Mères in France, but as you all know, my mamma lives in the good old US of A. We had a great visit with her when we were in the states, and our visit was made that much sweeter by the fact that we were visiting for both American Mother’s Day and her graduation from the seminary.

Finally, after years of hard work, not only is she one step away from being a Reiki Master, she will be fully ordained by this fall. Yep, that’s right folks. She will be available to handle all your marriage, baptism, or exorcism needs. Whatever your individual case may be. You know you need Jesus.

Anyway, my brother and his son came up for the big occasion which was really fun. ( Don't you just love the facial expressions in this photo?) After the ceremony there was lots of eating, drinking, and even a bit of card playing.

Frenchboy and I even learned how to play Spades. In my opinion, that beats the hell out of the French Fête des Mères anyday!

Sneak Peek Inside the Barbie Dreamhouse

And now, the moment you've all been dreaming about: A sneak video peek inside the French Barbie Dream house.

This was the first time I'd seen the apartment in 3 months so I was thrilled of course. The most amazing part is, the building is actually on schedule, which is rarely the case with any type of French building project. (...one good thing about global warming---no snow this winter.) So it looks like our projected move-in date could get pushed up to August instead of September. Next step is installation of:

Bathroom tiling (but our walls will definitely not be red. )

Flooring. (But that blonde will definitely not be chillin on my sofa.)

And we need some stairs. But we definitely will not have these stairs....

cuz they cost 7000 euros extra.
So we'll probably end up with something uber plain like this:

Which is just fine because I will definitely still be jumping for joy:

in front of the massive glorious windows in my

KICK-ASS NEW STUDIO!

(Sorry for yelling. I 'm really excited.)